To All the Girls I've Loved Before...(and Still Love)

So, I've dropped out of the blog loop as of late, I know. For shame. School has been whipping me into shape, or into a real student, rather. My past two years have been really busy, but this year takes the cake. The reason is that I have decided to really put myself into my studies. I've only got two more years left. This is my one and only chance to go to grad school. I don't want to regret anything, including wishing I would have worked harder. So, that's exactly what I've been doing: working harder.

This weekend, however, I took a break. Hubby and I flew to NYC for the wedding of a good friend of mine. Hubby and I had a great time on Long Island where I was a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. I have to admit though, this is the only wedding I've been in besides my own. Why is that? you may wonder. Do you not have friends?

To the contrary! I have a lot of close friends, but what you have to understand is that there was a time in my life that I thought weddings were silly. I thought they were all about trivial hype. Weddings were silly dreams girls made up that made them more girly. Brides were blind optimists who wanted to live in a fairytale. In fact, when all my close girlfriends were getting married, I asked them not to ask me to be in their wedding in any capacity.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have missed their weddings for anything in the world, but I wanted that distance between me and this thing called marriage. (How sad.) I think part of that also had to do with the fact that I was unhealthily shy as well and the thought of being in front of so many people during the ceremony gave me instant stomach ulcers, but it was mostly fueled by this intense dislike for anything sacred, especially marriage.

So, what gives? What changed? Why was I in this wedding and not any others? I met hubby and my feelings about marriage--about a lot of things--drastically changed. I changed. I evolved.

Through the experience of my own wedding and my friend's wedding this weekend, I've come to realize that one of the most meaningful things a friend could ask of you is to take part in their wedding ceremony. To witness, up close--in tandem, a lifelong commitment between a good friend and the single individual that they have come to love and choose to spend the rest of their life with. I remember how I felt when I asked my girls to be in my wedding. How right it was. And, I remember how I felt when Glen asked me to be a part of his wedding.

See, I didn't know all of this back then. But, I know now. And, as usual, I'm a little late since all my good friends are married. So, I just want to say to all my girls, and you know who you are, I am so sorry. I really missed out.