Be Intentional

This is often said and most difficult to do. Our lives get so hectic, so busy that we always have something else to take us away from perhaps the greater work we have been called to do.

Between finishing the book, The Shack, a recent conversation with a friend, and Robb's sermon on Sunday at Vintage Fellowship, I realized something's gotta give. And it needs to be me. I realized, no matter what stage of life I'm in, I will always be busy. Life's next steps aren't going to slow down. I'll be trading in the hectic life of a graduate student for the hectic life of a professor (hopefully), a more attentive wife and family member, and eventually a mother.

So, what comes of all this thinkin'? I need to be more intentional in my relationships. It's time to put in more time. It's time to do some hard work. It's time to push past the hump of what's comfortable and stretch myself. It's time for me to mature and find a way to manage the whirlwind of my small myopic view in order to see what else and most importantly, who else in the world is around me. There is no greater way to strengthen my relationship with God than by also strengthening my relationships with the people around me.

Week Two Done!

I don’t know how long I can keep these titles up because really, I want the things I learn with WW to be on-going. When I reach my end goal which revolves around a specific weight goal, re-education, re-focusing the hierarchy of God and food, then I’ll be closer to where I want to be. And, let me tell you, tonight God was a cupcake. I’ve got a ways to go, especially since I only lost 1 pound this week.

Some of you know that Lent began last Wednesday. I’ve never participated in Lent before and recently struggled with the idea of giving something up since I am already involved in WW—which, while the motivation is to live healthier, it still feels like I’m giving something up (like aforementioned cupcake). After reading our church’s blog on Lent, I decided to give something up: my snooze bar. Part of the reason I have decided to do this is two fold. One, I want to explore Lent and see what it’s all about and what better way to do that then to actually participate by giving something up. I want to find out what it really means to participate and I want it to strengthen my relationship with God.

The second reason I want to pursue this is because every time I hit the snooze button, I regret it. I am a self-proclaimed slug. I hate getting up. It’s strange because I love being busy and I love getting things done, but the getting up out of bed, I never really latched onto that idea. So, the snooze bar, that’s a big deal. There are other things I should consider sacrificing, but right now, I’m just going to focus primarily on one.

Here’s a link to our blog on Lent. It’s pretty interesting: Blogging Lent.

Week One

Well, I finished up my first week as an official Weight Watcher's gal. I am official because we started officially paying for it today. Money=official. The week was a test. I started off excited about the possibility of change--controlled change--my favorite kind! The first day went well. I felt lighter. The second and third days, I was dragging. In fact, the third day, I came home, skipped class and slept. Then, the rest of the week got progressivly better. Then, the weekend came.

I'm pretty sure a bad way to do WW is to save up points and eat a pie on the weekend. So, I didn't eat a pie, but I had dessert Friday, Saturday (a HUGE one), and Sunday. I had stomach cramps and a little touch of the sickness on Sunday afternoon and a little on Monday. Yeah, yeah, I knew that wasn't good, but I just had to try it to make sure.

Monday is my weigh in date and I started off last Monday at 167. Today I weigh 160. Not the healthiest to lose that much, but a lot of it was water weight gain. Regardless though, I lost! WW says to find other ways to celebrate without food. I really like candles and haven't been buying any lately so I think I'm going to go out and buy me a big old smelly candle. One that smells clean and nice. Not the kind that smells like dessert!

And, Jazz, thanks for the encouragement. I've got you in my head! That's a good thing. And, Candice, oh--we've got some talkin' to do! Congratulations!!

Cattle Prod

So, I've decided to add something else to my plate. Or not. I've recently joined Weight Watcher's Online. I have often been curious about WW because they have always advertised that they were about lifestyle change, not dieting. Well, recently I've decided I can get behind something like that. What prompted the change? A wonderful plethora of things including ailments of the aching joints, lacking energy, and a conversation with hubby.

A couple of weeks ago, I was telling hubby about the change in my body since grad school. When I was accepted into grad school (Fall 2006) I weighed 105 and fluctuated up to 110 pounds. I worked out everyday and had a very strict diet including a daily intake of 8 oz. of whey protein (a required taste) amongst many fruits and vegetables. My current weight? A whopping 167 pounds. That's right. It's all there. I'm not so much ashamed by this increase in weight as I am astonished; however, I have to say that saying those numbers out loud to hubby was like a cattle prod. I knew I had to do something drastic.

Weight Watcher's Online has been great. Granted, I've only been using it for 3 days. They say that I won't actually see a difference for three weeks. I can wait. This isn't about dropping a few pounds for summer; this is about changing the way I depend on food. Yes, I depend on it. Food is my friend. Food is always there. Food can always be gotten. The more sugar and chocolate, the closer the friend. I've realized that my recent change is not just an "avoid the food in front of you" battle. This struggle is so mental and emotional.

When I'm leaving campus and walking down the hill to my car at the Walton lot, I often think of the dessert I may have later tonight. Do I want to pick something up? Maybe I should treat myself to a visit to Rick's Bakery. Perhaps I should see the sale items at Walmart's bakery. That's good right? They're on sale. Maybe I should pick up some chips and dip? Maybe I should have an all out gorge fest! Yeah, and I'll watch some crappy horror movies from the 80's...and it all follows me downhill...

I have had to "re-program" myself. I have had to say, "Self?" "Self, look. It's not okay to fantasize about food. It's just not. So stop it." I really have to force my mind elsewhere. Up until now, I have never been able to admit how much I depend on food. I knew once I admitted it, I'd have to confront it.

So, here I am. Confronting it. All 167 pounds of me. Here I am. Reaching towards a goal weight of 125-130. Reaching towards a life where food is not my God. Prayers are welcome.

Apocalyptic!

Well, I guess it takes a devastating event to get me to write on my blog. I hope everyone out there is staying warm and safe. We've just had about 2 or so inches of ice in Fayetteville and I know Evansville, IN (the hometown) was hit pretty hard too. My folks are still without power.

Our power went out yesterday so we headed to Hubby's dad's house to sit in front of the fire. His power was off too, but with the fire it was warmer so we packed up the cats, backpacks, soups, candles, flashlights and spent the night. Our electricity came back on today so we headed home and invited some friends over who weren't as fortunate as us!

Hubby's dad took some incredible pics this morning when we went on a neighborhood walk to scope out the damage. I'll post them once he can send them to me--he's still without power. I have never seen anything like this. I've seen extensive tornado damage, but nothing this devastating done in the winter and with ice. So many trees have split and limbs have fallen. The tops of the trees are decimated and the sound of the limbs breaking is unnerving. It's so strange because you can look out across a field or at the mountains in the distance and see this stellar, breath taking beauty when the sun hits all of nature encased in ice. And then you look around the neighborhoods and see so much destruction.

I took these photos on Tuesday, before the storm hit too bad. They by no means give an accurate account of the damage caused by this storm.

















Stay warm; stay safe!